一路好走

today's the closure, and also the beginning.
yes, the wake is over.
we sent aunty jean off today... it was a good day, sunny, bright and cheery.
a vast difference from the storms, glooms and coldness the past few days.
that must be aunty jean's way of telling us to all cheer up.

i woke up at 6am today, feeling the chills.
was also devoid of emotions.
i was probably too exhausted.
chose to walk all the way to jo's to wake myself up and get myself a lil more warmed up.

alot of aunty jean's family and friends came down too, sending her off to embark on this new journey.
SJDAA came around 8, opened up the coffin so that family and friends can place flowers all around her in her coffin.
i didnt go near, for i was alr fighting tears. it would not have been a good sight.

we reached the church.
and the ceremony begins.
everything was fine, until i saw jo going up for the eulogy, i couldnt hold it back anymore.
her recount of aunty jean was to the point, touching, and really appropriate.
i am proud of my bestfriend.
i cried, and i laughed.
yes, i do rmb the handkerchief story she once told me about (:

it made me think,
what would people say of me should i pass on one day?
what would people remember me by?

soon, the ceremony was over.
it was time to go to the mandai crematorium.
tengyi and justin were already there waiting for us.
thankyou tengyi, for the comfort.
the crematorium looked so much more peaceful than i imagined.
i couldnt take it when we all had to sing Amazing Grace.
it will never be in my list of favourite songs.
after the service and the prayers by the priest, we were all allowed to say byebye to aunty jean for that one last time.
it was heart breaking, watching aunty jean's sisters and good friends choking on their tears as they touched the coffin for that one last time.

we were then all moved to the viewing hall...
as we watched aunty jean's coffin being pushed off, and the doors closing behind her.
i had mixed feelings.
happy that she's going off to a better place, yet upset because i feel for the family and friends.
yes, i believe that aunty jean will still be around, but sometimes, it's the physical form which we will miss and want when a loved one passes on.

and with that, it was a closure for the family and friends, and a beginning for aunty jean.

on the journey back to jo's place.
my heart felt heavy.
i stared out of the window, and stoned.
lots and lots of thoughts running through my head.
ty tried to sound me out, and gave lots of words of comfort, i wanted to speak, but i couldnt.

jo,
continuing being strong for your daddy.
ive been very very proud of you.
you are right when you said i am like a sister to you.
well, i AM your sister.
i am glad that you've been speaking your mind, i'd have been worried if you hadnt.
anytime you need to talk, or should you and uncle need anything else, i'll be around (:
as for the other matter.. mm.. dont let it get to you..
keep the faith babe.
love you.

-

you know,
these few days showed me what friendships and kinships are all about, and how important they are.
i saw with my very own eyes how supportive some of jo's family are.
her dad, HK, her eldest aunt and uncle, her cousin jaemes and ben... and so many more of them who have been doing so much for her and her dad despite feeling the loss too.
i was really really touched.
and when i talk abt friendships, i dont just mean jo's friends.
it extends to my friends too, people like ailing, jies and ym who showed their concern, people like uncle wu who had to listen to me, silly ailing even teared more than once because of it.

always be appreciative of the people around you.